The Maestro

keyboards, vocals

Diamond • Aries

You could say that PetRock has gone to the ends of the earth to create the greatest ‘70s smooth band ever, and you would be right. That’s because the most enigmatic member of this impressive ensemble – the Maestro — first came to notoriety in the land of his birth, World’s End, New South Wales, Australia.

The Maestro (check his driver’s license 😊) embodies the self-sufficient, no-nonsense, raise-hell attitude that we have all come to know and love about the land down under. A whiz in math and science, The Maestro would surely hold hundreds of patents if he devoted himself to a pursuit other than music, though the world would be the worse for it.

The bulk of what we know about the Maestro’s early years can be found in school records, and in an article published in the Armidale Express newspaper in the late ‘70s about a young man who apprenticed at Blind Billy’s Shoe Shine. This young man, then known as Graham Tuppence, won an open audition to become the keyboardist in a local band. “I can’t spend my days looking down at feet. I need to reach for the stars,” he is quoted as saying. “So long, suckers,” he concluded.

The next confirmed bit of information can be found in file footage documenting Dr. SanGuinary’s Birthday Bash, an event sponsored by a local Omaha TV station. The Maestro escaped charges arising from the event, now known as Dr. SanGuinary’s Birthday Fiasco, but he became a legendary cult-like figure in the underground horror movie scene in Omaha. To this day, it is believed he is the mastermind behind the grindhouse cinema scene in the River City. 

Want to get on the Maestro’s good side? Ask him about Dune (the book, not the movie), or surprise him with your best Leatherface impersonation. But don’t mention boomerangs or “throwing some shrimps on the barbie” as he is tired of being stereotyped.